Content material warning: The story incorporates graphic particulars.
TOPEKA — Sarah Gonzales-McLinn regrets killing Hal Sasko.
She additionally regrets transferring into his Lawrence house, the place he repeatedly raped her till she channeled a lifetime of trauma into psychotic rupture.
On a January night time in 2014, she drugged her captor, zip-tied his limbs and slit his throat.
“That’s the second that my ache and struggling spilled over onto many various individuals, even exterior of us two,” she stated in a telephone interview from the ladies’s jail in Topeka. “In order that second, sure, I completely remorse, and I might by no means do this once more.”
A jury convicted Gonzales-McLinn of first-degree homicide in 2015 with out figuring out concerning the months of abuse that preceded her grisly crime. Now, her advocates hope to get her out of jail by convincing the governor to grant her clemency — a longshot try to right what they view as injustice.
The clemency application focuses on Sasko’s grooming of her from the age of 14, together with the monetary and psychological traps he used to maintain her in bondage. New particulars embrace the revelation that Sasko, at age 52, had began grooming 16-year-old twin ladies earlier than his dying.
Advocates hope her request for clemency will elevate public consciousness of human trafficking circumstances so that girls like Gonzales-McLinn could also be higher understood by household, pals, legislation enforcement and judges.
“How is it that she will be tried and convicted with no jury being absolutely conscious of what was occurring in that home? How is that not an injustice?” stated Dave Ranney, a retired journalist who met Gonzales-McLinn as a volunteer for a writing program on the ladies’s jail. “The query isn’t whether or not she killed him, it’s why? And in case you don’t know the reply to that, simply ask anybody who counsels ladies who discover themselves caught up in abusive relationships. They will let you know.”
Gonzales-McLinn was sentenced to a minimal of fifty years in jail. In 2021, newly elected Douglas County District Legal professional Suzanne Valdez made a surprising deal. Gonzales-McLinn’s sentence was reduce in half in change for giving up the fitting to attraction. However there isn’t any assure a parole board will let her out of jail earlier than she dies.
Valdez publicly defended the plea deal however secretly agreed Gonzales-McLinn needs to be freed.

Mackenzie Clark
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Lawrence Occasions
Interviews, courtroom information, confidential police paperwork, psychological reviews, the clemency software and different supplies obtained by Kansas Reflector present perception into the occasions surrounding Sasko’s dying and the authorized proceedings that adopted.
State corrections officers refused to permit an in-person interview with Gonzales-McLinn, citing inconvenience for jail workers and a state agency policy that solely grants reporters entry for tales on “acceptable” subjects. As an alternative, corrections officers required Gonzales-McLinn to reply delicate questions over the telephone whereas surrounded by different inmates.
This was her first interview with a reporter, and she or he was nervous to inform her story.
“I’ve by no means talked about this with anybody exterior of attorneys and psychologists — like, not even my household,” Gonzales-McLinn stated. “However I simply really feel prefer it’s time, additionally. I really feel prefer it has been simply so exhausting to speak about as a result of it does nonetheless maintain a specific amount of energy over me.”
Dwelling with Sasko
Gonzales-McLinn welcomed the invitation from Sasko to maneuver into his Lawrence house after she graduated a 12 months early from Topeka Excessive Faculty. She was 17, and he was 50.
They met three years earlier, when she went to work for Sasko at his Cicis Pizza department in Topeka. He stayed in contact as she moved on to different jobs.
Sasko knew about her troubled relationship together with her mother and father. He knew she had been violently raped by a person who left her with scars from cigarette burns. She had tried suicide and was identified with post-traumatic stress dysfunction and melancholy.

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Sasko promised to deal with her.
“After I moved into that home, I had no concept what was in retailer for me,” Gonzales-McLinn stated. “I really did consider him as a father determine to me. I simply had no concept.”
The supposed sanctuary included limitless entry to marijuana and alcohol. Cocaine and ecstasy additionally had been obtainable.
Sasko charged her hire, and she or he purchased her personal meals. He slowly gained management over “most every part that I did,” Gonzales-McLinn stated.
After that they had lived collectively for about six months, he instructed Gonzales-McLinn he beloved her. She stated she “shut it down,” however he continued to make undesirable advances. Ultimately, he demanded intercourse as a situation for staying with him.
“I used to be very crushed the primary time that occurred, and I simply felt utterly helpless at that time,” Gonzales-McLinn stated.
Sasko commandeered her paychecks, telling her she owed cash for fuel, her telephone, automotive repairs and different bills. He threatened to sue her if she left and instructed her he would wreck her credit standing in order that she may by no means get an residence or purchase a automotive. She could be homeless, he warned.
Household and pals later instructed police that Sasko bragged about how “wonderful” it was to “have an 18-year-old.” However he complained to Gonzales-McLinn that she wasn’t enticing sufficient.
He pressured her to get a nostril job, then added the $6,000 price to the invoice she must pay earlier than she may cease having intercourse with him.
He instructed her that males do not like flat-chested ladies. She wanted a curvier physique. He wished her to have breast augmentation surgical procedure, however the physician stated she was too younger. He organized for her to have buttocks implants as a substitute. She objected however felt she had no selection. He added the $10,000 price to her invoice.
Her final paycheck, from Mattress Tub & Past, was for $265.56.
Gonzales-McLinn later instructed a psychologist that she would drink herself right into a semi-conscious state when Sasko required intercourse. If she tried to withstand, he held her arms.
“I might get as drunk as I may and simply lay there,” she instructed the psychologist.
She estimated that he raped her two to 3 instances per week for 10 months.
By late December 2013, Gonzales-McLinn had damaged from actuality. She searched Google for such phrases as: “Why do I feel so otherwise?”
She texted her sister: “I really feel like a caged animal proper now, and it is making me loopy.”
Survival mind
Greg Kelley instructed police he visited his uncle’s home a month or two earlier than the homicide and was alarmed to discover a skinned rabbit in a bowl within the fridge.
Gonzales-McLinn had purchased the rabbit at a neighborhood pet retailer, signed a waiver saying she would take care of it, then used a knife to kill and pores and skin the animal. She dug the rabbit’s fur out of the trash and demonstrated for Kelley how she caught the knife by means of the rabbit’s neck. She had put thought into the approach.
She did this, she defined, to discover ways to “self survive.”
The rabbit was marinating as a result of she deliberate to cook dinner and eat it the subsequent day.
Kelley thought to himself: “This chick has issues.”
In scientific phrases, Gonzales-McLinn was affected by main melancholy, post-traumatic stress dysfunction, substance abuse and dissociative identification dysfunction — previously generally known as a number of personalities.
“To an inexpensive diploma of psychological certainty, Ms. Gonzales McLinn suffers from a lot of critical psychological diseases,” wrote Marilyn Hutchinson, a psychologist who spent 17.5 hours evaluating Gonzales-McLinn after the homicide.

Sherman Smith
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Kansas Reflector
Sharon Sullivan, a Washburn College professor and skilled on human trafficking, stated you will need to perceive the neurological influence of sexual abuse. “Survival mind” takes over, Sullivan stated, and the a part of the mind that controls choice making goes offline.
In Gonzales-McLinn’s case, Sullivan stated, her mind wasn’t even absolutely developed. She was trapped. She did not know there have been choices.
“I can not even think about having to cope with that at 18 years outdated, with so little expertise of the world,” Sullivan stated. “And that is somebody who’s supposed to like her, known as her his daughter. How f***ing creepy is that?”
Gonzales-McLinn stated she could not discover a manner to deal with the abuse in a manner that made her really feel higher.
“There was lots of medication and alcohol in that home, and that was the one aid that I felt the entire time,” Gonzales McLinn stated. “That’s sort of a darkish street to go down.”
Hutchinson’s report stated Gonzales-McLinn had been molested by a neighbor as a toddler, and the rape at age 16 “was terribly traumatic.” She had nightmares of killing herself and the rapist. She felt unavoidable humiliation.
Sasko’s abuse compounded the trauma. Gonzales-McLinn got here to the conclusion she must kill herself or kill him. A change in antidepressant treatment could have affected her considering, Hutchinson famous.
On the morning of Jan. 14, 2014, Sasko texted Gonzales-McLinn to apologize for attempting to sleep together with her once more. However at 5:15 that night time, he despatched a textual content asking her to place beer within the fridge. She knew if he was consuming, she could be raped.
Gonzales-McLinn killed Sasko shortly earlier than midnight. She drove her automotive to Florida so she may see the ocean earlier than her inevitable arrest.

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Lawrence police questioned her after she was discovered 11 days later in Everglades Nationwide Park. Detective Jamie Lawson wished to know why she used Sasko’s blood to write down “FREEDOM” on the wall.
“What was you attempting to precise if you did that?” Lawson requested.
“That is how I felt,” she replied.
Later, Gonzales-McLinn instructed Hutchinson that killing Sasko felt like standing within the solar for the primary time.
Irrelevant data
In a closed-door assembly with the trial choose in 2015, prosecutor Charles Branson efficiently argued that it will be inappropriate for the jury to listen to about Sasko’s abuse of Gonzales-McLinn.
“Particulars of these allegations wouldn’t be correct in entrance of the jury throughout the guilt section of the trial as a result of they’d be merely data that will be used to create sympathy for the defendant,” Branson stated, in accordance with a transcript of the dialog.
Branson thought of the abuse to be “irrelevant data.” He additionally did not need the abuse to be made public as a result of information retailers would write about it.
Protection lawyer Carl Cornwell agreed to restrictions on the proof of abuse he may current at trial. As an alternative, he tried to persuade jurors that Gonzales-McLinn was too mentally unstable to know her actions.
The jury rejected Cornwell’s arguments, which emphasised the “system of Sarah,” a reference to her a number of personalities. Prosecutors stated she was exaggerating signs of psychological sickness.
Gonzales-McLinn did not understand she may need to spend the remainder of her life in jail. She was shocked and confused when proof of Sasko’s abuse wasn’t introduced at trial.
“I by no means had this mentality of, ‘I am simply going to get out scot-free, that is what I am preventing for, that is what I need.’ However I did at all times need what was honest,” Gonzales-McLinn stated. “For those who do not say every part that occurred, how can anyone determine what’s honest?”

Mackenzie Clark
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Lawrence Occasions
Douglas County District Choose Paula Martin gave Gonzales-McLinn a Exhausting 50 sentence, which means she must serve a minimum of 50 years earlier than the possibility of parole. She could be practically 70 years outdated by then.
Gonzales-McLinn appealed her sentence on the grounds that Cornwell offered ineffective counsel. In the meantime, advocates started to arrange a clemency software — and uncovered proof that wasn’t introduced to the jury.
Sasko had downloaded a whole lot of movies of violent pornography on his telephone and visited X-rated web sites that featured kids, teenagers and bestiality. Not less than 20 instances, he visited web sites that featured males fondling or having intercourse with ladies who seemed to be sleeping.
Police discovered a digital camera and flash drives on a desk in Sasko’s bed room. A detective stated photos discovered on the flash drives demonstrated that Sasko and Gonzales-McLinn had been pals who hung out collectively. Advocates weren’t allowed to view the recordsdata.
Confidential police reviews revealed Sasko was grooming 16-year-old twin ladies earlier than his dying. Their mom was livid on the consideration and items he offered them, together with money, fuel, garments, subwoofers for his or her automotive and an unsolicited envelope of marijuana. When the mom blocked his quantity on their telephones, he purchased them new telephones. In the event that they ever wished to run away, he instructed the ladies, they may transfer in with him.
Megan Stuke, government director of The Willow, a home violence shelter in Lawrence, stated the ideas of “grooming” and “human trafficking” are continuously misunderstood.
“Anyone will get you in a relationship, supplies you with creature comforts or masking your wants, in order that then you haven’t any different choices however to do what they need — to keep up your housing, finance, perhaps it is an dependancy that they’ve helped you create,” Stuke stated. “Individuals will be trafficked by their mother and father. Persons are trafficked by their boyfriends. It is not essentially the massive ring of dangerous guys transferring individuals round.”

Sherman Smith
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Kansas Reflector
Valdez, the Douglas County district lawyer, knew concerning the abuse when she reached a plea deal in Could 2021 with protection lawyer Jonathan Sternberg that will require Gonzales-McLinn to spend a minimum of 25 years in jail.
Earlier than his consumer would drop her attraction, the protection lawyer made one final request.
“Are you able to additionally affirm that ought to the settlement settlement be accepted by the choose, you personally intend to assist Sarah acquiring clemency from the Governor when it turns into politically acceptable for each you and the Governor?” Sternberg wrote in an electronic mail. “I do know we additionally mentioned that, too, and Sarah wished me to ask you that.”
Valdez replied: “Sure.”
Valdez declined to remark for this story, however she and Sternberg defended the plea deal in a column published by Kansas Reflector.
“There’s a distinction between zealous advocacy and zealotry,” they wrote. “Zealous advocacy depends on info which can be supported by testimony, proof and arguments that may be admitted in a courtroom of legislation. Zealotry depends virtually solely on zeal.”
Michelle Gonzales responded on behalf of her daughter’s advocates: “Valdez and Sternberg could discover authorized consolation in figuring out {that a} younger girl who killed her rapist will spend a minimum of 25 years in jail. We don’t.”
Processing her disgrace
Gonzales-McLinn stated her undesirable buttocks implants are a relentless reminder of the bodily and emotional ache Sasko inflicted on her.
Shortly after she arrived at jail, she requested to have them eliminated.
“They had been all simply curious,” Gonzales-McLinn stated. “I bear in mind one nurse went and known as one other nurse in they usually each touched me.”
The state denied her the medical process.
“Yeah, it will be superb if all the nurses would, you already know, observe HIPAA and hold your medical stuff non-public, however they do not,” Gonzales-McLinn stated. “And so they instructed lots of people — lots of officers, lots of inmates. That was simply very traumatic.”
She just lately renewed her request to take away the implants and is awaiting a solution.
Advocates, together with Ranney, Sullivan and Stuke, compiled a prolonged assessment of her case, with supporting documentation, as a part of the clemency software they filed in December with the Prisoner Evaluate Board. Advocates employed Hutchinson, the psychologist, to conduct a brand new analysis.
“It’s with an excessive amount of psychological certainty that I opine that Sarah Gonzales McLinn has achieved rehabilitation and may be very able to sustaining a crime-free and productive life,” Hutchinson wrote in a brand new report.
The board, by means of a course of outlined in state legislation, will collect enter from Valdez and Sasko’s household, and make a advice to Gov. Laura Kelly.
Kelly has granted clemency to eight individuals by means of an initiative that reviewed nonviolent drug crimes. Her workplace declined to reply questions for this story about whether or not that initiative is ongoing, or whether or not consideration needs to be given to somebody who suffered sexual abuse.

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Stuke stated Gonzales-McLinn was appearing in self-defense when she killed Sasko.
“If you meet Sarah, it’s so clear that she is just not a vicious killer,” Stuke stated. “She is just not somebody who’s a hazard to society at this level. She was in a specific scenario with what felt to her like no choices.”
Jail has given Gonzales-McLinn an opportunity to heal.
In a “bizarre manner,” she stated, being locked up was a aid. She took the time to consider what occurred. She would write letters to God as a manner of attempting to course of her disgrace.
She trains Labradors and golden retrievers to be service canine for a company primarily based out of Washington, Kansas. The canine have “healed me in a manner that I did not even know wanted therapeutic,” she stated.
If she may discuss to the governor, she would inform her she is now not the younger woman who felt hopeless and did not know what to do.
“I’ve devoted on daily basis since my incarceration to higher myself — not just for myself however for my household and the group,” Gonzales-McLinn stated. “I’ll proceed to be sure that every part that occurred wasn’t only for nothing.”
This story was initially printed on Kansas Reflector.
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