DEAR ABBY: I’ve a single buddy in her 40s. She has very noticeable vertical strains between her eyes when in animated dialog that detract vastly from her candy face. She’s on a restricted revenue. I’d prefer to counsel Botox for her, and I’m keen to pay for it with a present card or money. Wouldn’t it be OK to counsel it to her and the way would you strategy it? — BEAUTY HELPER IN TENNESSEE
DEAR HELPER: Whereas I’m certain you imply properly, in case you convey this to your buddy’s consideration, chances are you’ll make her self-conscious. Though Botox therapies could make a optimistic distinction in somebody’s look, they’re solely short-term. To keep up that “recent” look, they should be repeated, and until you propose to pay for her Botox in perpetuity, you shouldn’t give her one thing she will be able to’t afford.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married for near a 12 months, and on this quick time I’ve seen a facet of my spouse I’ve by no means seen earlier than. Though I met her throughout a interval of sobriety, she drinks now. The issue is what she does when she drinks. On one event, she was alleged to go to the market and return on foot. As a substitute I discovered her in a automobile with a stranger, consuming and excessive. She claimed it was too chilly to stroll and he or she was simply making an attempt to maintain heat.
On one other event, she received drunk and had a male buddy with whom she’d been intimate prior to now decide her and all her belongings up and left me watching her drive away with him. She later known as apologizing profusely from a unique man’s condominium begging me to choose her up. I might go on and on with related situations, however my letter could be too lengthy.
Her newest is when she advised me she put a “code” on her telephone so I couldn’t discover out the place she had been. (She had actually simply turned off location sharing on her telephone.) She says she loves me with all her coronary heart and there’s nobody else, however I discover it very exhausting to consider. Am I the world’s greatest, dumbest doormat for not divorcing her? (I can’t simply flip off my love for her.) — SUCKER OUT WEST
DEAR “SUCKER”: Should you haven’t already contacted your doctor, schedule an appointment and be examined for any STDs your spouse could have handed alongside to you after one among her escapades.
This state of affairs will proceed till she involves the conclusion that if she doesn’t instantly get assist for her consuming, her marriage is over. The query is whether or not she’s keen (or ready) to surrender her addictions to alcohol, no matter different substances she could also be sampling, and intercourse with different males.
Loving her doesn’t make you dumb or a doormat. Nonetheless, in the end you will need to settle for that you would be able to’t repair what’s fallacious together with her, and also you’ll need to determine how rather more ache you may tolerate. Please settle for my sympathy.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.